10 things self-assured people never worry about

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My inspiration has been by noticing these top things self-assured people never worry about. 

If they don’t worry about them, why should I?

Let’s go:

I’ve always been a big worrier. 

But lately I’ve improved by looking around at people who worry less than me. 

My inspiration has been by noticing these top things self-assured people never worry about. 

If they don’t worry about them, why should I?

Let’s go:

1) People pleasing

Free Thinking Mentor photo and picture

The first of the things self-assured people never worry about is pleasing people. 

Here’s the thing:

If you worry about pleasing other people all your life, you’ll never actually get to live your life. 

Your whole existence will be a performance and an obedience course for the satisfaction of others. 

Don’t get me wrong:

The opinions of people sometimes do matter and sometimes those close to you have advice you should heed. 

But that doesn’t mean you should be worried about pleasing others. Let them worry about that. 

2) Trend tracking

The next of the things self-assured people never worry about is keeping up with trends. 

Who’s the latest celebrity to cause a stir? 

Haven’t you heard that this type of music is the best or the worst? 

Did you see about the news and how this new social issue now defines whether you’re a good or bad person?

No thanks. 

Self-assured people don’t bother with this drama.

They have core values that drive and motivate them and they don’t let trends influence their wellbeing. 

The trends that do catch their eye and matter to them are trends that align with their values and beliefs. 

But keeping up with the latest hot topics or scandals for the sake of being “up to date” or hip is completely off their radar. 

Not worth worrying about. 

3) Fashion fads

Just like trends, fashion fads come and go. 

It may be bell bottoms one day and ripped jeans or biker jackets the next month. 

Self-assured people develop their own style and don’t worry about fitting into society in terms of their clothing and style. 

They care about looking good, but it’s on their own terms, not ideas dreamed up by a corporate executive on Madison Avenue. 

The same goes for what type of car they drive, the decor in their home and their lifestyle choices as a whole. 

Sure, they will be influenced by design trends in architecture or fashion just like any of us do. 

But it’s not something they’ll spend much time worrying about or paying any attention to. 

4) Haters and doubters

The next of the things self-assured people never worry about is haters and doubters. 

There will always be bitter and resentful folks who seek to tear us down. 

There will always be doubters who are there to chime in with why our dreams will fail or why we’re not good enough. 

Let’s be honest:

Sometimes doubters are in our own family or even our partner or close friends, which can certainly make it more of a challenge. 

The self-assured person learns to drown out and ignore hate or doubt. 

There’s enough proactive things to focus on in life without paying attention to white noise from the peanut gallery.

5) Outer labels 

The next of the things self-assured people never worry about is outer labels. 

They don’t chase validation and approval, because those are not necessary for somebody who has inner self-confidence. 

When you pay too much attention to outer labels, you disempower yourself and you judge others prematurely. 

There’s always a real person buried under the outer labels and categories, and self-assured people aren’t interested in just the shallow surface. 

So they don’t worry about the labels that get attached to them or others, they’re more interested in peeling those labels off and seeing what’s underneath. 

6) Who’s to blame 

There often is really one or more people to blame for specific things. 

The idea we’re all equally to blame is false. 

However focusing on the blame and worrying about it disempowers you and traps you in a cycle of negativity. 

That’s why self-assured people don’t bother. 

They may have their share of beliefs about who’s to blame for any given thing, but they’re more focused on the way forward, not the reason why things got messed up. 

This more proactive mindset empowers them to be a positive influence on others and an action-oriented force. 

This brings me to point seven… 

7) Future speculation

The future is going to happen one way or another. 

Hopefully we’ll all be in it and physically alive. 

But worrying about the future is one of the chief causes of anxiety, and self-assured people don’t bother. 

They think of the future, we all do. 

But for them, that uncertain future is full of opportunity and they tend to not focus on all the things that could go wrong. 

“Happy people don’t perceive life’s inherent uncertainty as a threat, they see it as an opportunity,” observes Niklas Göke.

Free Stand Confidence photo and picture

8) Past regrets

Next up is past regrets. 

We all have them, but the more we worry about them the more we tie our own hands behind our back. 

Self-assured, confident folks don’t dwell on past regrets

They acknowledge them, take any lessons from them that they can and do their best to move on. 

The pain of the past inevitably comes up sometimes, it does for all of us. 

But they choose not to worry about it. 

That’s life. 

9) Finding love 

The next one is tough, because finding (and keeping) love can be so heartbreaking and difficult.

Almost everyone suffers in pursuit of love or in being rejected, disappointed or heartbroken. 

But self-assured people don’t worry or stress overly about finding the right person or finding love

They know that at least part of that is out of their control, so they focus their energies on self-actualizing and being as true with themselves as possible. 

As they become more fully honest about who they are and what they care about, they inevitably draw closer to someone else on a similar track of self-honesty and vulnerability. 

Worrying about love just makes it seem further off. Worrying about your own progress instead puts you back in the drivers’ seat.

10) Pain and struggle

Life is going to hit all of us with pain and struggle. 

Even meeting the love of your life and marrying him or her means that one day mortality will take him or her from you. 

Starting a successful business that never has a single major problem still means that one day you will grow to old to operate and run it. 

Then there are the health problems, broken relationships, emotional and physical wrongs done to us. 

Life is full of pain and suffering, even many seemingly “perfect” lives. 

Self-assured people don’t worry about this or try to stop it from happening. 

They accept, fundamentally, that some of life is going to be painful and that struggle is a condition for existing. 

They find the opportunity in this and go through it as best they can without adding to the pain and struggle by worrying about the pain and struggle. 

What is worth worrying about?

With the list of things that aren’t worth worrying about, it brings up what is worth worrying about?

As someone who tends to worry a lot and has studied the subject, I’ve concluded that there are only a few things worth worrying about.

  • Improving ourselves and our relationship with ourselves
  • Becoming more self-aware and in touch with our conscience and core values
  • Determining a mission and purpose in life that motivates and inspires us
  • Pondering the meaning of life, existence and mortality (but not overdoing it!)
  • Paying attention to our code of conduct and how we treat others in our lives 

These things are worth worrying about, when worry and attention can lead to improving them!

As for the rest of the stuff? 

Leave it for the experts. The rest of us have a life to live. 



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